Sunday, November 3, 2013

Try Again Tomorrow

Thomas S. Monson once said, "Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"

I feel that voice pretty loudly in my head tonight.  I've decided raising a two year old is really hard.  There are some days that I feel like a complete failure.  There are some days that I feel like I've ruined my son forever.  There are some days that I feel like it might be better if Logan had a different mother, someone more fun, more creative, more kind, more patient, more _________ (fill in the blank).

Today was one of those days.  Not really for any one particular reason.  I think day light savings played into it.  I think my lack of a good night's sleep played into it.  I think pregnancy hormones played into it.  But I was not a great mommy today.  I let Logan watch too much TV today.  I called Logan a "dummy" today (jokingly, but still....).  I fought with Logan for over an hour to take a nap today, which ended in no nap and both of us in tears today.  I let Logan eat 3 packages of fruit snacks, a cup of fruit loops, and a chocolate bar today.  I lost my temper on multiple occasions and yelled today.  I was not the mother I want to be today.  I was not the mother my little man deserves today.

And at the end of the day, my little boy finally asleep in his bed, I feel pretty bad about myself.  But I do take courage in the fact that I get another chance tomorrow.  Tomorrow, I can turn off the TV and take Logan outside to play instead.  Tomorrow, I can tell Logan how smart, wonderful, and good he is.  Tomorrow, I can try again at nap time, but not freak out if he won't sleep.  Tomorrow, I can feed him fruits and vegetables all day (ok, maybe one chocolate bar).  Tomorrow, I can be more patient, loving, and kind.  Maybe I failed my little boy today, but I can succeed tomorrow.  He's not ruined forever, right?

Logan is a an amazing little boy!  I'm so lucky that he is mine.  I love him enough to try again tomorrow.  I love him enough to face tomorrow with a fresh attitude and new courage.  I love him enough to try to become a better person and mother.  After all, I'm the only mother's he's got, and I only get one shot to raise him.  I owe it to both of us to take the good with the bad, learn from my mistakes, and make each day better than the last.

Here's to tomorrow!

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