Essays on Motherhood: Adventures in Mommy "Dating"

Me, Logan, Sammy, Taj

Trying to find a playmate for Logan (and a mommy friend for me) has been like re-entering the dating world - a place I NEVER wanted to go again. But here I find myself, trying to navigate the pleasantries, introductions, and awkward conversations on my way to finding Logan a best friend.

Take this morning for example:

Logan and I were playing at our favorite park near our home. He was the only kid there, covered in dirt, and since we had jogged there, I was sweaty and dirty as well. I noticed a woman and little girl walking toward us. I recognized them immediately as Emily and her babysitter Sally*. We had met them before at the same park the first week we moved here. Emily is a few months older than Logan, but they played nicely together before and Sally and I had chatted briefly and we seemed to click as well.

I immediately began to wonder how bad I smelled, and hoped the snot rolling down Logan's upper lip wouldn't gross them out. We said "Hello" and the kids started playing together. Sally and I started casually chit-chatting about other parks nearby, dirt, and difference between boys and girls (at this point Logan is covered head to toe in dirt and rolling around in a puddle, while Emily is scared to go up the stairs that have a few wood chips on them). Then that times rolls around where Logan is done and needs to go home, have a bath, and take -hopefully- a LONG nap.

This is where it gets REALLY awkward. I like Sally, and Logan plays well with Emily. I want to hang out with them again. Thinking back, I sound like a desperate guy trying to hit on a 21 year old blond at a dive bar. The conversation goes a little something like this:

Me - "So do you guys come here often, I remember seeing you here a few weeks ago."

Sally - "Yeah, we usually come on either Wednesday or Thursday about this time, depends on the day."

Me - "That's cool, yeah we usually try to come here a few times a week. It's nice running into you again."

Sally - "Yeah, good seeing you too."

(can you feel the awkwardness? )

Me - "It's so nice to have someone close to Logan's age here. I think they play well together."

Sally - "Yeah, I think so too."

Me - "So do you want to play again next Thursday, about the same time?"

Sally - "Yeah, if we don't have anything else going on, that would be great."

Me - "Great, so we'll see you guys here next week!"

Seriously, sounds like a bad date invitation, right? Good thing I wasn't a guy, no one would have ever gone out with me!

But I think mommy "dating" is even worse than regular dating. So many more questions to consider. Are the kids the same age? Do they have the same schedule? Do they play well together? Do they have siblings? Does the mom stay home? Etc. Etc. Etc. Oh, and forget about if the mom (or babysitter) and I have anything in common. Anyway, I've been trying my best to pick up a few dates here and there.

Here are some of our "Prospects":

The Flirt - Helga and Joey*
They live in our apartment complex and we've seen them around quite a bit. Helga is super nice and outgoing, Joey is about a year older than Logan. We've talked a few times, but neither party has asked about seeing each other again on purpose.

The Cradlerobber - Brittany and Abby*
Met them at church, Sunday was their first day here, just moved here from Alabama. Brittany had SUPER cute clothes, which seemed like a good potential shopping buddy for me, but her daughter Abby is only 3 months old. A little young to be Logan's best friend at this point. Literally, cradle robbing. But, we exchanged numbers- we'll see how it goes!

The Summer Love - Kelly and Rebecca*
We met them through church, but they actually live in our apartment complex. Kelly is also a stay at home mom and we hit it off immediately. Rebecca is almost 9 months old, and she and Logan get along really great together. They have played together 3 days in a row. Her husband even golfs- it seemed like a match made in heaven! However, it was not to be, they are moving to Colorado on Friday. (sad face)

The Long Distance Relationship - Samantha and Taj
Sammy is one of my best friends from high school. Her little boy Taj is 6 months older than Logan. They met back in March and seemed to get along. Sammy and I often dream of having play dates together, and our boys getting to be best friends. But alas, Sammy and Taj live in California, and we live here in Virginia. (sad face part 2)

The Good First Date - Jane and Lucy*
Jane is another woman I met at church. Her daughter, Lucy, and Logan are both a year old. They had a good time playing together at church our first Sunday here, so I stuck my neck out and invited them to go to the splash park with us on Tuesday. We didn't get to talk much, because our kids were pulling us all over, but Jane and I seem to get along. Logan and Lucy were both pushing plastic chairs all over the park by the end of the play date. We have discussed getting together again.

The Vacation Hookup - Rachel and Johnny*
I only say vacation hookup, because Rachel and her 6 month old son, Johnny, are from a vacation spot - Hawaii. They just moved to Virginia back in May. Again, we met them at church. Rachel and I really hit it off. Logan and Johnny hit it off, Literally. Logan was drumming on Johnny's head about 5 minutes after we met. Rachel seemed cool about it though, and we have talked about meeting up for a play date.

So there you go!! At least I have prospects, right? And one thing I did learn this week -just like dating- don't be late! I was an hour late to our ward's play group meeting on Wednesday, and everyone was gone. At least Logan had fun on the swings!