Monday, March 18, 2013

An Apology and an Explanation

Wow, I really have been MIA from the blogosphere.  It hit me a couple days ago, that it really has been WEEKS since I've posted anything.  I apologize, and offer an amusing, slightly gross story as a little bit of twisted entertainment and an explanation as to my disappearance.

It was a run of the mill Thursday morning.  Logan and I dropped off Daniel at the metro station, came home, had breakfast, and plotted out our game plan for the rest of the day.  On our way home from the metro, the "Change your oil NOW" light came on in the car, so I decided we would quickly go get the oil changed, then head over to the playground until nap time.

The man at the Service Station told me it would only be 30 minutes until the car was finished.  30 minutes?  Easy peasy!  I had my iPhone, I had 10+ Fisher Price apps, I had Disney Jr. on demand.  No problem!  Logan was jumping around the room, laughing, smiling at all the other people waiting, until about 10 minutes into our wait, he sat down, the blood completely drained from his face, and he started throwing up all over everything.  And I do mean everything.  The carpet, the chairs, his clothes, my clothes, his shoes, my shoes, EVERYTHING.  And this wasn't baby spit up.  This was full fledged V-O-M-I-T if you catch my drift.  The sounds, the smells, the chunks.  Worst part?  I was completely unprepared.  I had no wipes.  I had no tissues.  I had no change of clothes.  I didn't even have one lonely diaper for crying out loud.  Mother of the year right here.

After I got over the shock and embarrassment of what was happening, I went into damage control mode.  I asked the man saint at the desk for paper towels, I started scrubbing the floors (gagging all the way), I stripped Logan down to the onesie.    I apologized profusely to the room full of bystanders, who all promptly vacated the premises.  The man saint told me not to worry about it, they would just "take the chairs out back and hose them off" and he had an "18 year old daughter, so he understands."  Yeah, when was the last time your daughter threw up all over herself and the 10 surrounding square feet at the gas station service center?

Once I had done all I could do, we still had 15 (ish) minutes left before the car was done.  What's worse than having your kid throw up all over himself in public?  Having your kid throw up all over himself and then having to wait 15 minutes before you can gettheheckoutofthere! Shoeless Logan wanted nothing more than to get down on the puke soaked floor and jump up and down repeatedly.  We managed to make it through the rest of the wait uneventfully, that is, until it was time to check out.  Let's just leave it at, my card was rejected 3 times (they were inputting the expiration date incorrectly, so says my bank), and there was more spewing, a lot more spewing.... all over the cash register.  The customer service was spectacular at this service station.  It's a shame I can never show my face in there again.

5 days, 30+ loads of laundry, 10 baths, and 16 hours of The Muppets, and I just wasn't in a blogging mood.  Glad we can all laugh about it now, right??

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