Updates on my "Dating Life"

I'm always surprised when I run into someone I know and they ask me about my blog.  I guess I'm still amazed that people read about my life and even more astonished that people care about my life enough to KEEP reading.  I truly appreciate every single random person out there who has ever read a single post.  It makes blogging all that much more fun.  One of the things I get asked about most is how my "dating" life is going.

As you will recall I've done a number of posts about trying to meet other mommy friends since becoming a stay at home mom in a new area.  Well, I'm happy to report that I have made a number of friends in the area and am maybe getting better at the dating scene??  At least I know "the lingo" and "the dress code" now.

All conversations at the park start exactly the same way.  Asking how old their kid is.  Then you say whether they are big or small for their age.  Then they ask about your kid.  And then you go from there talking about what milestones they've hit, where they are from, etc.  And I've learned that whenever you are going anywhere other mothers will be, you should shower, wear your cutest jeans and scarf, and wear at least a little make-up.  Ya know, pretty much like regular dating.  Except you have to make sure your kid is also clean and wearing cute clothes, or at least wearing clothes at all.

Anyway, meeting people at the "park scene" doesn't happen as much now as it used to due to colder weather and play dates with actual friends.  With permission, here's a rundown on 2 of my best friends here in Virginia.

Regine and her son, Ryder.  Known in a previous post as my "vacation hookup" Rachel and Johnny, Regine was the first good friend I met here when she invited me to a BBQ over Labor Day weekend.  She is fun and always ready to get together.  Very laid back, SUPER friendly, and hillarious Regine and I really get along and so do our sons.  Logan likes to play with Ryder because he's so easy going, he lets Logan basically do whatever he wants without complaint.  Daniel and Regine's husband, Ryan, have also become friends and go golfing regularly.  The 4 of us (plus our 2 kids) get together for dinner often.  I'm SO very grateful to have found this wonderful family and know that we'll be friends for a long time in the future.

Eileen and her kids, Olivia (Livi) and Lucus.  I think I referred to Elieen, Livi, and Lucas as Hailey, Elizabeth and Ryan previously (Man I'm really bad at making up names!).  Eileen and Regine were really good friends and were sweet enough to let me into their little group!  Eileen and I now hang out independently often.  I really get along with Eileen and she is my wonderful workout buddy.  We try to workout everyday, which means it happens about 3 times a week.  And our kids?  Well, I'm pretty much planning Livi and Logan's wedding.  They are always playing together and sneaking off into rooms alone.  He gives her kisses and hugs all the time.  Anyway, we have to keep an eye on those two!  And Lucas?  Well Logan and him get along well also.  Eileen and I agree on a lot of things about life and parenting.  Our husbands also get along well.  Basically, I have the best friends around!

Here's some pictures from our time together:

Lucas and Livi at the park

Halloween Party (Regine and Ryder, Eileen and Lucas, Me and Logan)

It's so fun when we catch them all playing well together!

Basically my mommy dating life is GREAT!  It has been such a blessing in our life to have found such wonderful friends.  I cannot tell you other stay at home mommas the importance of finding great friends that not only your kids, but that you get along with.  You can get out of the house, cultivate friendships, socialize your children, swap babysitting when you need it, and so on and so forth.  And we all know, everything is better when you have someone to do it with!

The newest installment in Mommy "Dating"

You know that awkward moment from high school when you run into that guy who didn't show up for your date, didn't call, and tries to ignore you in front of the entire student body?  Well, that was my morning at the park.

I hadn't seen Sally and Emily at the park since the day we had made our "date" a couple weeks ago.  Remember?  And do you remember how she stood me up?  Yeah well, I knew it was only a matter of time until I saw her again. 

Logan and I did the usual jiggy jog over to the park this morning. I was smelly, he had on a slightly stained shirt (at least I changed him out of his pj's, right?), and we pretty much looked like a disheveled mess.  "No matter" I thought.  "It doesn't matter who I see, they aren't going to care, and if I run into Sally and Emily, then so be it".  

As we roll up in our construction equipment yellow jogging stroller, I can see from a mile away that there are tons of people there, and I start to wonder if maybe today would have been a good day for a brush and some deodorant.  The first person I see is a lady from our church - GREAT!  Someone who there is virtually no chance of avoiding for the rest of my life.  We chat for a few moments and I try to make excuses for my tangled hair and go for the "I'm a workout chick" vibe - hopefully she doesn't tell the other mommies in the ward what I'm like pre-shower.  Then of course, I spot Sally and Emily.  

I knew when Sally and I locked eyes I was going to have to talk to her.  So I waved.  And she didn't wave back - SHE DIDN'T WAVE BACK!  Who does that?  I am 100% positive she saw me, and she didn't wave back!  By this point I know some of the other moms there are wondering who I was waving at, so I had to approach Sally.  Ready for more awkward dialogue?

Me - "Hey Sally!  Hey Emily! How are you guys?"

Sally - "Hey Emily, can you wave at Logan?"

Me - "Wave to Emily, Logan."

Me - "So, how have you guys been?"

Sally - "Good."

Sally walks away, following Emily to another part of the playground, and to talk to another mommy.  

????????? 

So what changed from last week when we were so chummy??  Is Sally really THAT shallow that she won't talk to me in front of the other mommies who are dressed like we are at a freaking yacht club?  Seriously, why do these women all wear dresses and nice clothes to run around in 100 degree weather, 90% humidity, in the dirt with their toddlers?  I guess the answer lies in the quest - mommy dating.  These ladies are all out there looking for friends and playmates just like I am.  However, I thought it was more about spending time with our children, and friends was a byproduct, not the other way around.  I guess they have just figured out the game much earlier than I.  Looks like I need to start showering before I go to the park.

Sally and I did end up chatting for a bit a few minutes later, once she saw that other people weren't utterly repulsed by me.  But there was no mention of getting together again.  In fact, Logan and Emily didn't play much today.  I guess Sally and Emily are not "the one".  -Sigh-

Latest Developments in Mommy "Dating"

Remember last week when I told you all about my struggles to find a suitable playmate for Logan and mommy friend for me?  I know you're all on pins and needles wondering how my week played out as far as dates and such.  Here's the re-cap:

As you recall I had a date lined up with Sally and Emily at the park for Thursday.  So Thursday morning, we get an email from our apartment complex that our water is going to be shut off the entire day for "pipe maintenance".  "Great..." I think to myself.  I was hoping to shower and look half way decent for the first time at the park so they might actually want to hang out with us again.  Obviously, that was not to be-  I guess Smelly Amanda it is.  So we did our usual routine- rolled out of bed, put on our tennis shoes, and jogged to the park.  But, I did bother to brush my hair and put on deodorant, so that's something.

We arrive at the park.  No one is there.  I wasn't surprised... I wasn't expecting them for another 15 minutes or so.  So we play and we wait.  And we play and we wait.  And just like a heartbroken teenager waiting for his date to the Prom to arrive, we are stood up.  In fact, no one came to the park at all that day.  Logan couldn't have cared less - but I was a little disappointed.  At least if we run into them again, I will have another chance to show them I do occasionally shower.  I think my problem was I didn't get a solid commitment.  It was a "maybe, if we don't have anything else going on".  Next time I need to go for the "we will be there, you can count on us!" type of response.  Lesson learned.  

I didn't have anything else lined up for the rest of the week.  We had missed the Ward Play Group again earlier in the week so no prospects there.   So my goal going into Sunday was to make at least one date for the upcoming week.  

The Mother's Room at Church is pretty much the best place in the world.  I'm actually sad that I will be weaning Logan soon (hopefully- more to come on this) and I won't be able to join my fellow Mothers there for Sunday School and Relief Society feedings.  But for now, the Mother's Room is my social hub.  That's where I met Rachel and Johnny a few weeks back (Remember they were the Vacation Hookup).  Like I said before, Rachel and I really hit it off (as did Logan and Johnny).  Well, I saw them there again this Sunday.  

And this is how the conversation sent from God goes:

Rachel - "Do you and your husband have plans for Labor Day tomorrow?"

Me - "No, why?"

Rachel - "Well our family and another family are getting together.  Does your husband golf?" 

(Can you hear the angels singing The Hallelujah Chorus in the background?... because I could!)

Me - "Yes, he loves to golf."

Rachel - "Great, the guys are going golfing, and us girls are going to get together and hang out while the kids play.  Then we are going to BBQ and go swimming.  Do you guys want to come?"

Me - "Yes!  That sounds wonderful!"

Rachel - "Cool, let me get your number and I'll text you the details."

One thing is for certain - Rachel would have gotten a lot more dates than me if we were both dating age males.  

We met up today and it was a blast!  I was introduced to Hailey, her daughter Elizabeth (age 3) and son Ryan (age 1).  That's right, SON- age 1.  Same age and gender as Logan.  Us three girls had so much fun, the kids played together wonderfully, and the boys all had a great time golfing.  The food was tasty, and the conversation was fun and light.  By the end of the night the girls and I were making plans for more play dates this week and the boys were making plans for more golf trips and meeting up for lunch during the work week.  Could it be I've found FRIENDS???  It certainly seems so, and I know we are on the road to making some great friendships here in the Alexandria area.  

So all and all, Mommy dating was pretty successful this week.  As my mother would say, "Just goes to show there's somebody for everybody!"

Adventures in Mommy "Dating"

Me, Logan, Sammy, Taj

Trying to find a playmate for Logan (and a mommy friend for me) has been like re-entering the dating world - a place I NEVER wanted to go again.  But here I find myself, trying to navigate the pleasantries, introductions, and awkward conversations on my way to finding Logan a best friend.

Take this morning for example:

Logan and I were playing at our favorite park near our home.  He was the only kid there, covered in dirt, and since we had jogged there, I was sweaty and dirty as well.  I noticed a woman and little girl walking toward us.  I recognized them immediately as Emily and her babysitter Sally*.  We had met them before at the same park the first week we moved here.  Emily is a few months older than Logan, but they played nicely together before and Sally and I had chatted briefly and we seemed to click as well.

I immediately began to wonder how bad I smelled, and hoped the snot rolling down Logan's upper lip wouldn't gross them out. We said "Hello" and the kids started playing together.   Sally and I started casually chit-chatting about other parks nearby, dirt, and difference between boys and girls (at this point Logan is covered head to toe in dirt and rolling around in a puddle, while Emily is scared to go up the stairs that have a few wood chips on them). Then that times rolls around where Logan is done and needs to go home, have a bath, and take -hopefully- a LONG nap.

This is where it gets REALLY awkward.  I like Sally, and Logan plays well with Emily.  I want to hang out with them again.  Thinking back, I sound like a desperate guy trying to hit on a 21 year old blond at a dive bar.  The conversation goes a little something like this:

Me - "So do you guys come here often, I remember seeing you here a few weeks ago."

Sally - "Yeah, we usually come on either Wednesday or Thursday about this time, depends on the day."

Me - "That's cool, yeah we usually try to come here a few times a week.  It's nice running into you again."

Sally - "Yeah, good seeing you too."

(can you feel the awkwardness? )

Me - "It's so nice to have someone close to Logan's age here.  I think they play well together."

Sally - "Yeah, I think so too."

Me - "So do you want to play again next Thursday, about the same time?"

Sally - "Yeah, if we don't have anything else going on, that would be great."

Me - "Great, so we'll see you guys here next week!"

Seriously, sounds like a bad date invitation, right?  Good thing I wasn't a guy, no one would have ever gone out with me!

But I think mommy "dating" is even worse than regular dating.  So many more questions to consider.   Are the kids the same age?  Do they have the same schedule?  Do they play well together?  Do they have siblings?  Does the mom stay home?  Etc. Etc. Etc.  Oh, and forget about if the mom (or babysitter) and I have anything in common.  Anyway, I've been trying my best to pick up a few dates here and there.

Here are some of our "Prospects":

The Flirt - Helga and Joey*
They live in our apartment complex and we've seen them around quite a bit.  Helga is super nice and outgoing, Joey is about a year older than Logan.  We've talked a few times, but neither party has asked about seeing each other again on purpose.

The Cradlerobber - Brittany and Abby*
Met them at church, Sunday was their first day here, just moved here from Alabama.  Brittany had SUPER cute clothes, which seemed like a good potential shopping buddy for me, but her daughter Abby is only 3 months old.  A little young to be Logan's best friend at this point.  Literally, cradle robbing.  But, we exchanged numbers- we'll see how it goes!

The Summer Love - Kelly and Rebecca*
We met them through church, but they actually live in our apartment complex.  Kelly is also a stay at home mom and we hit it off immediately.  Rebecca is almost 9 months old, and she and Logan get along really great together.  They have played together 3 days in a row.  Her husband even golfs- it seemed like a match made in heaven!  However, it was not to be, they are moving to Colorado on Friday.  (sad face)

The Long Distance Relationship -  Samantha and Taj
Sammy is one of my best friends from high school.  Her little boy Taj is 6 months older than Logan.  They met back in March and seemed to get along.  Sammy and I often dream of having play dates together, and our boys getting to be best friends.  But alas, Sammy and Taj live in California, and we live here in Virginia.  (sad face part 2)

The Good First Date - Jane and Lucy*
Jane is another woman I met at church.  Her daughter, Lucy, and Logan are both a year old.  They had a good time playing together at church our first Sunday here, so I stuck my neck out and invited them to go to the splash park with us on Tuesday.  We didn't get to talk much, because our kids were pulling us all over, but Jane and I seem to get along.  Logan and Lucy were both pushing plastic chairs all over the park by the end of the play date.  We have discussed getting together again.

The Vacation Hookup - Rachel and Johnny*
I only say vacation hookup, because Rachel and her 6 month old son, Johnny, are from a vacation spot - Hawaii.  They just moved to Virginia back in May.  Again, we met them at church.  Rachel and I really hit it off.  Logan and Johnny hit it off, Literally.  Logan was drumming on Johnny's head about 5 minutes after we met.  Rachel seemed cool about it though, and we have talked about meeting up for a play date.

So there you go!!  At least I have prospects, right?  And one thing I did learn this week -just like dating- don't be late!  I was an hour late to our ward's play group meeting on Wednesday, and everyone was gone.  At least Logan had fun on the swings!

Blissfully unaware of all the hard work I'm putting in trying to find him a friend

Here's hoping our perfect match comes along soon!

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent